I’m crying at the bus stop because this white man really just approached me and asked where I was from, and when I answered “Chicago”, he said, while pointing his finger at my face, “Really? Because you look like you’re from India. You look like a RED DOT. ” when I told him to fuck off with his racist bullshit he said “I’m not racist, I love red dots. Don’t call me a racist”.
WHY. IM LITERALLY OUT OF POSITIVITY. IM RUNNING ON EMPTY. EVERYTHING I DO WITH MY ART PRACTICE AND LIFE IS ABOUT STRENGTH AND DIALOGUE FOR OTHER BROWN PEOPLE AND I FEEL BEAT DOWN. I FEEL LIKE I FIGHT EVERY DAY, AND IM TIRED.
I had critique for a piece I’m working on rn wherein I deconstruct a simple “innocent” racist remark, specifically someone recently said “where are you from bc your skin color is like different, I love it”, and pick it apart with a think tree and expand on the racist implications within something so seemingly simple and inconsequential. My fucking TA IN THE CLASS was like why are you villainizing someone who didn’t even mean anything, they were just trying to compliment you, and ALL the white men in the class readily agreed. The entire point of the piece is to deconstruct the complexities and implications within something that was said mindlessly. And they all just completely steamrolled over me because they felt like I was making a big deal out of nothing.
I just feel like I’m running out of fuel. I feel like I’m being beat down again and again and the harder I fight the more I get slammed which can obviously be expected, but i just feel like I’m running out of the will to fight. I feel exhausted.
idk if ppl realize this, but ur art, ur movement, ur statement is irrelevant and useless if u r only catering/featuring white bodies/white people.